Give me back my boobs
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: It was a nightmare, wasn't it?


« Morning, Miss Karen. » Grace woke up when she heard Rosario. Why was she at Karen ? She must have had an argument with Leo… And so she had needed to speak to a woman. Will must have had a date so she had gone straight to the mansion… She put herself on her back. Her eyes still closed. She had an headache and was… vaguely high. Oh… She must have had a very serious fight to feel how she did right now… Her body was heavy. She felt sick. She put her hand on her forehead and made a face. She couldn't even imagine opening her eyes and face to the light of the day. She left her hand fall on her hair till her breasts. Her what ? She suddenly realized she had just put her hand on big boobs like… Karen's ones. But she could feel her hand on her own body so she was not touching her friend. She opened her eyes and looked down at her. She wore a satin negligee. Karen must have loaned it to her. But… « What's that ? » Had her biggest wishes been granted ? She was contemplating huge boobs as she had ever wanted to get. There. On her. She touched them so that she'd be sure that was not a dream or an illusion. After all, she was really high.  
No, they were there. Absolutely real. « I put your Wednesday pill just next to you with a glass of vodka, as usual, Cruella. » She looked at Rosario leaving the room and turned her head on a side. Karen was not there. She got up as she could. It was so difficult. « Karen ? Are you there ? » Nobody answered. She passed again her hand on her hair and there realized. Had she cut it yesterday ? She looked at it. And dyed it ? She had dark hair now. Straight hair. She had absolutely no idea what was happening that morning. She run straight to the first mirror she could find on the bedroom and couldn't help yelling. That face, that hair, that… Body, those… Boobs. She started breathing more and more quickly. She was panicked. « Oh my god… » The person she was looking at in the mirror, there, where she had to be, was not her. But Karen. Karen Walker.

« Wakie, wakie, sweetie Gracie. » Karen opened an eye and made a face wondering who the hell was kissing her neck. « Get out there, Chupacabra. Don't even think you're gonna lick my whole blood, she grumbled. » She felt a hand on her stomach. « Oh… In a bad mood this morning ? I know what you need to change… » Fucking hell fire ! In what language did she have to tell her she didn't fancy a knee-tembler with a maid ? She turned quickly to face her. She couldn't help shouting. Oh god, no. That just could be a nightmare. What was he doing there ? Him ? Why was she in bed with… Oh damn ! She could never remember his name !… Grace's hubby. The poisoned dwarf ! What the hell was he doing, kissing her neck ? Letting his hand running on her stomach ? She pushed him away immediately and stoop up as quickly as she could. But her balance was very hard to find this morning. « Hey you !… Don't even think put again a hand on me, are you ok with that ? I know I'm a sex bomb and so guys can barely prevent themselves from touching the amazing creature I am but… No, no, no, no, no. You've got absolutely no chance. Can you hear me ? No. Chance. No one. Nothing. Nada. » She looked around her, looking for the bathroom. Where was she ? « Now excuse me unfaithful husband but I have a lot of things to do ! Like… Finding the bathroom… » She really didn't know where to go, actually. There was just one door… « Second on your left… Leo said in a whisper. » Gosh ! Grace must have had her period…  
She found the bathroom and double-locked the door behind her. She was so angry ! How could he dare ? Grace was her friend ! He perfectly knew he couldn't enjoy women'curves with Gracie but he had decided to get married to her ! Hey… He should have thought about it before. « Jerk ! » She looked down on the floor, thinking about what she'd have to tell her friend later. About him. And then she saw them. Or better she saw they were no there. Anymore. « My precious ! Where are they ? Where are you ? » She was touching her chest. Her empty chest. She was panicked. « Oh god… Why ? » She was about to burst into tears. Firstly Grace's husband tried to screw with her and now her boobs had disappeared. It was a nightmare. Had she been punished with… What ? What had she done ? She was a nice girl… Yes… Oh and that hair ! Always in the middle of her face ! That was really annoying ! That… « Red hair ?… What the fuck… » She looked at her in the mirror and thought she was going to throw up. She had just been given the last chastisement. That was not possible… She had become Grace. She had become nothing, absolutely nothing. Just Grace.

Grace was trying to calm down. And thinking. There must have been an error. Somewhere. That was just not possible. An explanation, maybe… Oh god… She slowly went to Karen's dressing room and chose some clothes. She couldn't stay there, in front of the mirror. In front of… Karen. « Geez, that's an amazing collection of bras ! » She was discovering Karen's lingerie. And yes, she had a lot of choices in front of her… When she came back to the bedroom, Rosario was there. « You haven't touched a single bite, lady. I mean a single gulp. Are you ok ? » Grace was looking at her, lost and confused. « Well… Actually… I'm pretty… Hungry. » At least she was sure she was still herself… « Oh I see. Done ! » Rosario put two pills more on the plate. « No… Rosario… It's not what I mean… I am… Really hungry. » The maid looked at her, more than surprised. « For real things ? » She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do. That whole story was so weird. « Yes. For… Real things. » Rosie took the plate, still staring at her. « Ok… » Then she left, letting Grace alone. She had to do something. Immediately. But what ?… Will, she had to go there. And find Karen too. Ok, it was 10am so… Where could Karen be right now if she was not at home ? Not at work, that was sure… Where could she be ? At Jack's ?

Karen had stayed enough time in the bathroom so that she didn't have to see Leo again. He had knocked at the door a few minutes before to tell her he was going at work. And now she was totally desperate in front of Grace's clothes. What could she wear without looking like a bogy ? 30 minutes later, she dared to get out the building, wearing sun glasses so that nobody could recognize her with those things Grace used to call clothes on her and realized she was in Brooklyn. « Oh god why ? Why me ? » And she had no limo waiting for her in the street. So she had… To take the subway ? « Not even in my worst nightmare ! » And anyway she didn't know how to get it and where it was exactly. So… She had to… Oh god… She sighed. Call a cab. She had already seen people yelling for one in movies so she did the same when she saw a yellow car. She opened the door with an handkerschief and jumped into it. It was worth than she had imagined. « Riverside Drive, 155. » When the car moved off and the cabdriver put the radio on, singing loudly, she really thought she was going to throw up. Really.

Will was drinking an orange juice when he saw Karen rushed into his flat. Panicked. « Can I help you, old lady ? » Grace looked at him, leaned against the door. « Will it's me. » And who did she think he was seeing right now ? Brad Pitt ? « Yeah… I… I see you Karen, you know. Perhaps you've got this fog in front of your eyes but there's no alcohol running in my own vein… » Oh no… So he was really seeing her. Well, not her but… Karen. She came close to him and took his arm. « No Will, you don't understand. I'm not… Who you think I am. I'm Grace ». He smiled, confused. Was there an hidden cam by here ? Or she really had to stop those multicolored things. « Believe me ! » Ok, she was definitely mad. « I believe you, honey… I believe you… » Oh what a relief ! She knew he could understand her. « And I'm the Queen of England ! » He smiled and went back to the kitchen. Jerk ! She knew she couldn't trust him ! He could never understand what was happening because… First of all, he was not open-minded and secondly… She couldn't even explain it herself. She was about to speak when Jack came into the flat. "« Oh, Karebear, sweetie. Kiss my ass and push my boobs ! » He pushed her with his bottom and rubbed his chest against hers. « Get away ! » She couldn't help. « Geez… Is our lady going through her bad period ? » That was enough for her. « I am not Karen, can you hear me ?, she said looking at both guys. I don't know what the hell is happening but… I woke up this morning with those… Things, she touched her boobs. In Karen's body. But I'm not her ! I'm Grace, for christ's sake ! I'm Grace ! Will, she turned towards him, I know a lot of things about you. You have to trust me. I'm not Karen. » Jack and Will laughed. « Yeah… Very funny, evil's mistress ! » Ok, she had no choice. « Well… So if I'm Karen, how could I know you used to have some fantasies about Mary Poppins when you were a kid ? » Will stopped immediately and looked at her. Frightened. « That's not true… You're lying… » He felt suddenly very bad. « Oh no, I'm not. Mary Poppins and her carousel… » How did she know that ?

Karen arrived at last at Will's building. She rushed into the lobby, the janitor was cleaning the floor. « Good morning Grace ! How's Brooklyn today ? » She had no time for that. She pushed him and rushed straight to the stairs. « Get off my way, pauper ! » She opened Will's door with so much violence the whole people in the flat jumped, surprised. « Hi Grace. Hum… In a hurry ? » They were all there… Fine ! It was the right time for an explanation « Shut up your face Wilma and give me a drink I'm thirsty. Those bloody cabs don't even have a bottle of booze ! » What was happening this morning ? Karen was so weird… Well, ok, that was not really surprising but Grace. Asking for acohol at 10.30 in the morning ?And why the hell was she wearing sun glasses on October ? It was raining ! « Are you trying to get away from somebody with those glasses, Mata Hari ? » So Jack had seen it too. And Will was even surprised he knows about Mata Hari. « I'm not Grace, Jackie. I'm Karen. Your shaking boob partner. » She started shaking her boobs as usual, playing with her tongue at the same time. « Why the hell didn't you do it when I arrived ? » Jack didn't understand. He looked at Grace, shaking desperately her chest in a bad imitation of Karen. « Well, sweetie, because you… Have nothing to shake. There. » He shew her breasts. »Oh ! You… Jerk ! How do you dare ? » She was angry. And hurt. Because she knew he was pretty right that time. Unfortunately. « They can shake if they want to ! It's just a question of habit ! » Grace couldn't help shouting it. She knew she had not exactly Karen's forms but… Hers could move too. If she wanted. Karen looked at her. « Yes she's right ! But I want mine ! And right now ! Give me back my boobs, Grace ! » She jumped over Grace and they started fighting. Yelling. « Give me back my boobs !… Give me back my hubby !… You can take him, mister « I want to fuck with Karen Walker » !… He doesn't want ! That's not true ! I'm a sex bomb he could tell you !… It's all in your dreams ! And now give me back my boobs ! Give me back my life ! Give me back my limo ! Give me back my Rosie !… And your fucking pills ! You know I'm hungry, now ? There's nothing to eat at your's ! … You're just unable to appreciate quality ! » Jack and Will stayed still for just ten seconds. So surprised. They had never seen them fighting like that. And they had absolutely no idea of what they are talking about. « Kare, you slept with Leo ?… Grace ? You were at Karen's ? » But as the fight was getting more intensity, they decided to stop it immediately. They had never figured out how strong women could be when they were furious. And so they just managed to take part in the fight too.

They were all fighting down on the floor. Their bodies all mixed, rolling from side to side. Legs on air, arms disappearing under the mass. And all shouting : « Who slept with whom ?… Give me back my hubby !… Kare I need a pair of shoes !… Give me back my boobs ! »

« Give me back my boobs ! Give me back my boobs ! Give me back my boobs ! » Karen was shaking her head, shouting desperately. « Hey ! Karen ! Wake up ! Wake up ! » Grace tried to wake her friend up. God… What did she take that time ? The sequels were… Violent… « Hey ! Wake up ! Wake up ! You're dreaming ! » Karen opened her eyes and saw Grace. She looked at her. Frightened. Angry. She put her hands on her breasts. She sighed. Oh, what a relief ! They were back. At the right place. On her. « Karen, are you ok ? » Grace was worried. Karen was weird. She was looking lovelingly her boobs. As if she had not them for a very long time. « What ? » She looked at Grace. Stood up quickly and went backwards. Still looking at Grace. She took her boobs in her hands and said, threatening « Don't even think about it. They're mine ! They're mine ! » She ran out the office, letting Grace there. Overwhelmed.


End file.
